Here's how to navigate engagement ring conversations
It’s one of the most important pieces of jewellery many people buy in their lifetime, but without asking what they want directly, how do you find the perfect engagement ring for your partner?
One of the most popular TikTok videos on the topic, a humorous video suggesting that you should manipulate your partners targeted ads by saying ‘engagement ring’ related keywords into their phone, has amassed nearly half a million likes to date - so it’s clear that this is something brides and grooms-to-be need some guidance on.
With this in mind, the jewellery experts at Abelini have teamed up with Megan Smith, a Leeds-based bride married in 2023, to share tips on how to drop hints on your dream engagement ring, as well as how to subtly find out your partner’s preferences if you’re the one proposing.
Megan shares her thoughts: “Alongside your wedding ring, your engagement ring will be one of the most sentimental and significant pieces of jewellery you’ll wear in your life and that’s why it’s important that you have an open discussion about it with your partner, if it’s something that’s important to you.
“For some, the element of surprise outweighs the need for the ring to meet their preferences and that’s totally fine. But, you need to ask yourself if it’s the proposal that you want to be a surprise, the ring itself, or both.”
Nilesh Rakholia, Director at Abelini shares his expert tips on navigating the tricky conversations around finding the perfect ring:
- Be open and honest
Nilesh says: “If you or your partner are open about where you’re at in the relationship, and the pending proposal is no big secret, there’s no harm in being open and honest about your jewellery preferences, or asking your partner directly what their preferred styles are. This way, you know that both will be 100% happy when the time comes.”
Megan comments: “Whilst I didn’t send my partner an exact ring, as I didn’t truly know what it was specifically that I wanted, I did share some options with him of what I was leaning towards, to give him a bit of direction.
“Going to look at rings together, so your partner has a visual idea of what you do and don’t love is a great option if you’re not as fussed about the ring being a surprise. There’s no pressure to buy there and then, and it gives nothing away about a future proposal either - there are so many other elements to the proposal itself that can be kept as a surprise.”
Nilesh adds: “You could make a moment out of choosing the ring together, head out to a showroom, plan a celebratory lunch afterwards, and make it all part of the experience.”
- Friends first
If the proposal is more of a surprise, or you’re trying to subtly drop hints for your partner, getting your friends involved is a great first step to take.
If you’re the one who’ll be (hopefully) receiving the ring, tell your friends exactly which styles you prefer, and ask them to tactically mention these styles if the conversation ever arises with your partner.
Similarly, if you’ll be doing the proposing, asking your partner’s friends for guidance is a great way to get a second opinion on any ring choices to ensure you’re choosing something that your partner will love.
- Steer clear from unwanted styles
Nilesh says: “You can try and steer your partner away from any styles you’re less keen on, which will keep the actual ring style a surprise but with the safety blanket of knowing you won’t be receiving certain styles that you’re not a fan of.
Megan adds: “Whilst I didn’t show any specific rings I really wanted, I did show him rings I didn’t think would suit me personally, so he’d know what to avoid. For example, I didn’t want anything too bold or garish and instead wanted something timeless, that would pair well with the other rings that I wear each day.
“I’m also quite clumsy in nature, so I didn’t want something that would catch on my clothing or nearby surfaces, as I’d be too worried about it marking.
“This meant that he had a clearer picture of what I didn’t want, and had some freedom to choose what he thought I’d love, which made it even more special to me. ”
Nilesh adds: “There are many different engagement ring styles to choose from, and it can be a difficult task to land on the perfect ring for your partner. Our best advice would be to consult the experts, find out all you need to know about the ring before making the purchase.
“Alongside this, whilst the experts can guide you through the technicalities and understanding the jewellery itself, you’re the only one that has that special bond with your partner, and deep down you know what they will love.
“Consider any sentimental factors, weigh up any hints they may have given you, take a look at the jewellery they wear day to day and think about the styles that will compliment these pieces. You’ll be sure to find the perfect match, and at the end of the day, the most important thing is that they say yes and you start a happy engagement together!”
