How to navigate the 'break-up' season
Navigating a break-up can be a difficult process, made all the more complicated when you share a home with your partner. If you don’t put certain measures in place to protect yourself from financial loss, you can leave yourself vulnerable post break-up. According to dating app Bumble, December is one of the most popular times for relationship break-ups, dubbing this ‘break-up season’.
To advise individuals on action they can in good time ahead of break-up season, home storage experts at Extra Room spoke to three relationship experts to compile some handy tips for navigating the emotional and financial impact of a break-up. Extra Room also shared their own advice for individuals.
Research released by Experian in 2023 highlighted the impact breaking up can have on a person’s finances and calculated that the average break-up costs a person £1,068, with the same study finding 1 in 3 couples stay together because they can’t afford to break up. This figure includes costs such as finding a new place to live and not being able to split the bills. With this in mind, experts advised the following:
Actions to take to protect yourself ahead of a break-up
Ensure you have your name on the deed of a joint property
April Davis, Founder and Dating Coach at LUMA Luxury Matchmaking advises: “If you own a house with your ex-partner, things can get tricky. The first thing you’ll want to do is determine whose name is on the deed. This will inevitably determine who has more leverage in court. In the event of a break-up, consider buying out your ex-partner and owning the home yourself if you can easily afford it. If not, you can sell the home and split the profit with your ex. Another viable option is to temporarily share your home with your ex until you both can acquire other housing. Of course, this only works if you two are on good terms.”
Get legal agreements to safeguard your home deposit contributions
Mark Simpson, Director at Extra Room advises: “Be sure to get everything in writing. You can instruct a solicitor to draw up legal agreements pertaining to your home ownership, which can include who contributed what into your home deposit and set out agreements on who gets what in the event of a break-up. It may be that you and your partner want to get back what you put in and split any additional profits separately. Deciding this in advance will protect you for the future.”
Save living costs for a rainy day
Saving early on can help you have more options if things don’t work out. Additionally, you could keep in mind whether you think yourself or your ex is likely to stay in the property you share. April Davis, Founder and Dating Coach at LUMA Luxury Matchmaking advises: “You’re going to have to face the (financial) facts: if any, which partner can comfortably afford to pay the rent alone? Is it viable for either partner to move out within the next month? Can you and your ex cohabitate until the end of your lease comfortably?”
Setup a separate bank account
The above-mentioned Experian report found that more than half (52%) of people said they shared a savings account with their ex-partner, this can put your finances at risk. Mark Simpson from Extra Room advises: “you can maintain a joint account for bills but it could be a good idea to have an additional bank account in just your name. For joint accounts, there is no way to restrict access for the other person named on the account. Having a separate account is the only way to safeguard your money and give you easy access to this when setting up your new life for the future.”
Keep a written record of who is entitled to which valuable assets
April Davis, Founder and Dating Coach at LUMA Luxury Matchmaking advises: “First, each partner should make a list of the items they want most. Once you compare lists, it’s time to negotiate for any items you’d both like. You’ll want to consider each item carefully and which partner will ultimately get the most use out of it. You can also have items appraised for their value and then divide your assets in half.”
Advice for managing a break-up once it has happened
Establish a good line of communication
Mark Simpson, Director at Extra Room advises: “it is in your personal interest to try and keep lines of communication open where necessary, to ensure your requests are heard and taken into account. If you are struggling to determine who gets ownership of different joint assets, you should keep hold of items whilst decisions are being made. A self storage unit can be beneficial in these cases to give you peace of mind that your things are accessible and safe until these decisions have been made.”
Protecting your mental health in a break-up
Michael Anderson, Clinical Director at Healing Pines Recovery, adds: “Going through a breakup from a relationship where couples lived together is perhaps one of the most emotionally trying scenarios one can ever encounter. Trying to disentangle each other’s life when they once shared a home is made even more difficult. The act of moving out or the breakup itself can be extremely painful.
“Making sure to practise self-care and permitting yourself to grieve the end of your relationship is crucial when you are in a phase like this one. This change rapidly involves something significant, and it is alright to feel something about that. Sadness and anger, much as they do hurt, come neatly packaged as normal responses to shock and unexpected change. Let yourself settle and comprehend some of these emotions as you move on.”
