Anger Management: Tips for Controlling Your Anger
Everybody loses their cool occasionally. A disrespectful response from your kid or a rude driver that cuts you off in traffic can be enough to have you seeing red. Happens to all of us.
The reason behind this is simple - despite its negative reputation anger is in fact a healthy emotion if it doesn't disrupt your daily life and get in the way of your relationships with others. If being angry and controlling your anger gets in the way of you being a happy and productive individual, you should consider anger management sessions.
But before you do that learn more about anger: what causes it, why is it potentially good for you, and what are some tips for controlling your anger.
Anger Is Sometimes Good for You
Being angry is a fundamental part of human nature. Anger is designed to protect you and get you ready to take action. When you get angry your focus is improved as the primitive parts of your brain are searching for potential threats and ways to eliminate them. Of course, this can become an issue if there is no actual threat to identify and dispose of.
In essence, anger is a combination of physical and emotional pain. That is why blowing off steam can feel so relaxing as you are simultaneously getting rid of two types of pain. When you express anger you are releasing the tension from your body and your mind. Therefore anger outbursts can be loud and extreme but followed by a calm period afterward.
Anger is deeply connected with the sense of anxiety - more specifically with the anxiety that you feel when you have no control over something. Consequently, anger can give you the sense of power and control that your mind craves. Once again this is fine as long as you do not get addicted to the sense of power that comes with the feeling of anger.
In everyday life, anger can be a powerful source of motivation and creativity. When we sense that something is wrong we tend to get angry. That anger then energizes and motivates us to right the wrong and restore order as we know it. Once more this is a fine thing as long as your anger outbursts do not lead to destructive and violent solutions.
The list goes on and on - anger makes you more aware of injustice around you while giving you a boost in optimism at the same time. It is a force that can bring you closer to your goals without compromising your values and beliefs.
And just like any other basic human emotion once you learn to accept and control it anger can help you discover more about yourself and enrich your emotional intelligence while leading to self-improvement.
Read on to learn how to manage and control your anger rather than letting it control you.
How to Tame Your Temper
Learn about your triggers. You might notice that the same things make you angry. Some people lose their cool in traffic jams. Others cannot bear long lines or snarky comments. Perhaps you are more prone to get angry if you are too tired or too hungry. Whatever the case might be learn what makes you pop off and try to avoid things that drive you off the wall.
Assess your anger. As you have just seen sometimes the feeling of anger is justified. Maybe you are in a bad relationship or friendship or dissatisfied with your working conditions. In that case, use anger as the fuel needed to make the change and break away from your toxic surroundings.
Know your warning signs. Before an angry episode, you might notice that your heart starts beating faster or that your face is turning red. Some people clench their fists while others feel their voice starts to tremble. Learn to recognize when an angry outburst is coming so you can stop yourself from doing things that might cause you some severe problems and make your life even harder down the line.
Know when to walk away. This one is easier said than done but once you master this skill it will be worth it. If there are subjects - or even people - that constantly trigger you do not engage in conversation with them or about these topics. Leave the room and take a break if you have to. When you are upset you will not be able to have a productive conversation or resolve a conflict. Explain that you are willing to discuss the difficult subjects at a later time and walk away.
Talk to someone. While talking to a therapist has its undoubted benefits there are some perks to just talking to a friend. If there is someone near and dear to you that has a calming effect on you and whose judgment you trust simply talk to them. Sometimes all a person needs to feel better is a chance to vent to someone who won't judge them.
Be active. As stated above anger gives you a rush of energy. Working out or simply going for a brisk walk is an effective way to turn all that anger into something productive and a healthy way to release stress and tension. Physical activity can also help you clear your mind and get a different perspective on things that are bothering you.
Control your thoughts. Just like any other primal emotion anger is a powerful thing. As a consequence, it is easy to give in to your anger and even enjoy it a little bit. To manage your anger you must learn to stop using thought patterns that will add fuel to the fire. Avoid thoughts that increase your frustration and try to observe the situation objectively.
Do not dwell on negative thoughts. Finally, once the situation that made you mad is over try not to think about it anymore. Ruminating about a stressful situation will only help you grow angrier and make the entire thing seem even worse once you find yourself in a similar situation.
