How divorce works for fathers
Getting divorced is usually one of the most stressful periods of your life and many fathers are not prepared for the amount of change that will happen when they go through a divorce. While not all divorces result in the same outcome, it is more common for men to move out of the family home, which is one of the biggest changes.
If you are a father going through a divorce, you will probably experience the following:
Change of living arrangements
In many cases, the father will move out of the family home and the mother will remain in the home with the children. All cases are different and this might not be the outcome in your divorce but mothers tend to get primary custody of children, with courts often ruling that the mother can stay in a jointly owned property until the youngest child turns 18.
Due to the change of living arrangements and the temporary custody arrangements, it is quite likely that fathers will spend significantly less time with their children. This can lead to increased loneliness and a feeling of being isolated, even if the father is still having visits with his children.
Your family solicitor might advise you to not move out of the family home, so if you are in a position where you can keep living in the home until living arrangements have been decided in court, this can work in your favour.
Custody of the children
If you cannot agree with the mother on the custody arrangements, you will usually need to go to court and have a judge decide on the custody arrangements. Unfortunately, in many cases, judges will favour the role of the mother, especially if the father is the higher income earner and works more hours.
In dual income households where both parents work full-time, it is more likely for custody to be more evenly split, unless there are any welfare concerns that affect the court decision. When the court is deciding who will have custody, they will look at specific details such as which parent usually takes the children to school and who prepares their evening meals, as these are seen to be indicators of who is the primary carer for the children.
Before you get to the stage of going to court, you should speak to a family solicitor to ensure that you know your rights. If possible, you should try using a mediator to come to an agreement with your ex-spouse rather than going through the emotional strain and the costs associated with going to court.
Maintenance payments
If you do not have primary custody of your children, you will usually be required to pay child maintenance. It is possible to have a family-based arrangement, where you agree between yourselves how much is paid. It is important to have bank records of your payments, rather than paying cash, just in case there are any disputes about how much has been paid.
If you use the Child Maintenance Service, the amount paid each week will depend on the father’s income and how many children there are. Usually, a father will pay 12% of his gross weekly income for one child, 16% for two children and 19% for three or more children.
It is important that maintenance payments are made on time or this could affect custody arrangements if a court decides that you are not showing financial responsibility for your children.
Creating a co-parenting plan can help to ensure that both parents are working towards the same outcome, which is the welfare and happiness of the children.
