8 Tips to Break the News of Divorce to Your Partner
Going through a divorce can be difficult, and one of the first obstacles you need to overcome is informing your partner. Read on for some top tips to break the news…
Asking for a divorce is a tricky subject to broach, and there are lots of things you should consider before starting that conversation. You might want to seek legal advice before you divorce, but it’s important to remember that, if this is the first time your spouse is hearing about it, you need to tread carefully and not get ahead of yourself with solicitors straight away.
It’s therefore important to figure out exactly what you are going to say first to reduce the conflict and hurt that might come from asking for a divorce. Regardless of what you feel about your partner and your marriage, respect and empathy are some of the most important traits you can have at this time.
Read on for eight tips on how to approach wanting a divorce with your partner...
- Find a Private Place
When breaking the news to your partner, you want to be in a private and quiet space so you can process each other’s feelings. By doing it in a public place with lots of distractions around, you could increase the tension of the situation.
That said, it also needs to be a place where both parties feel safe. If you are worried about your safety or how your partner might react, ensure to have a third party in the room with you or on standby in case the situation gets out of hand.
- Ensure Your Partner Is Ready to Take the News
Where possible, try to have the conversation at a time where your partner is emotionally ready to take the news. If your partner has other stressors in their life, it might not be the right time to break the news and you might not receive the best possible outcome.
- Think About What You Are Going to Say Beforehand
There is no easy way to ask for a divorce, but there are things you should avoid saying to make the process slightly smoother. Steer clear of placing blame or going into too much detail, but make sure you are being honest and specific in what you are saying.
You could practice what you are going to say before the time comes and pre-empt answers to any questions your partner might ask. For example, where there is any chance that a divorce isn’t the solution, an practiced answer should be provided.
- Avoid Details
As mentioned above, it’s important to be clear in what you are saying to your partner so they don’t hope there are things that can be done to keep the marriage going. However, you also don’t want to go into too much detail. You might overwhelm your partner, and more conflict might arise if you start talking about who will keep your house, custody arrangements, and what the next steps are.
Give your partner time to absorb and digest you asking for a divorce before you plan the next steps.
- Stay Calm
There are many reactions your spouse might have to the news that you want a divorce. This could range from surprise, anger, hurt, and upset, and these emotions might come out in many different ways.
It is important to stay calm and show empathy whilst they come to terms with your decision. Try to listen to their opinion to keep the situation amicable. Ensure to remove yourself from the situation if you think that you are in danger.
- Avoid Placing Blame
Try to stay neutral when answering questions and giving reasons for wanting a divorce. Placing blame on your spouse might lead to conflict at a later date.
- Be Patient
Starting this conversation with your partner will be difficult; you might be met with criticism, insults and stubbornness. So, it is important to be patient throughout the process whilst you both deal with your emotions. You can get help with talking about your feelings, coping with your emotions, dealing with your living arrangements, and more, online.
- Seek Legal Advice
By seeking legal advice before you divorce, you will be informed of where you stand so you can keep tensions to a minimum when telling your partner you want a divorce.
Ready to Proceed with Your Divorce?
After telling your partner you want a divorce, the next step is to start planning. There are lots of great tips out there to make the process as smooth as possible so you can both start to move on with your lives.
If you have any top tips for discussing divorce with your partner, let us know in the comments below.
