From banana bread to TikTok: ten signs you’ve become a lockdown cliché
Life has inextricably changed since lockdown began. With pubs closed, offices shut and life as we know it on hold, it’s safe to say we’re all adapting to our ‘new normal’ together.
But even in uncertain times, annoying micro trends still manage to prevail, and there are particular things that everyone seems to be doing.
Yep, it’s still possible to be a massive cliché – even when you’re locked down at home alone. How many of these unoriginal activities can you tick off?
1. You’ve hosted a Zoom quiz
Up until a few weeks ago, nobody apart from corporate middle managers had ever heard of Zoom, let alone downloaded it. Now it’s become your lifeline.
Have you really lived the true lockdown experience if you haven’t hosted a never ending Zoom quiz with your pals? Bonus cliché points if you’ve recycled your original set of questions more than once, or wore a fancy dress outfit for the occasion.
2. You’ve baked banana bread
Before lockdown began, your cooking repertoire barely extended beyond pasta and stir-in sauce, but now you’ve become a star baker practically overnight.
Like everyone else on Instagram, banana bread has become your signature speciality – well, all those bananas you foolishly stockpiled had to go somewhere. Nigella is practically quaking in her boots.
3. You’ve done a TikTok dance with either your partner or your kids
Deep down, you know that TikTok is for a generation much younger than you and that you learned from a follow-along tutorial by a 14-year-old.
But alas, you’ve succumbed to attempting the #FlipTheSwitch challenge, you’ve mastered the Savage remix dance and you’ve spent an afternooon miming lines from Tiger King with the rest of your household. Lets hope your manager doesn’t find your profile.
4. You’ve made a quarantini
After watching Stanley Tucci expertly demonstrate how to bartend the perfect quarantine cocktail, 6pm has become happy hour in your household.
You know you should probably use the downtime as a period to lay off the booze, but you’ve come to love whipping up a quarantini (a lemon and honey martini) after snapping your laptop shut for the day.
5. You’ve learnt to play Wonderwall on the guitar
The neighbours are probably close to breaking point after hearing you wail out your best Oasis impression for hours on end, but who cares when you’re finally getting somewhere with that acoustic guitar that’s been gathering dust for years?
You’re so good, you’re even thinking of hosting your own isolation gig for friends and fans. Let’s hope they enjoy awkwardly hearing Wonderwall and Wonderful Tonight played ever so slightly out of tune.
6. You’ve started a podcast
Announcing you’re starting a podcast has quickly become just as popular as declaring you’ve made a dent in writing your first book.
Unfortunately, the only regular guests you have available to appear on your indie podcast is your technologically-challenged mum and your cat. It’s a work in progress.
7. You’ve done a DIY project and posted about it on Instagram
Have you put up some floating shelves? Painted your hallway? Made a radiator cover out of MDF? We’re sorry to tell you, but you’re 100% a lockdown cliché.
You’re especially guilty of this one if you’ve succumbed to posting a ‘tap to decorate’ before and after series on Instagram Stories.
8. You’ve started growing your own plants
Smug people with gardens the world over have been earnestly boasting about how #lucky they are to have a bit of greenery to sunbathe in, and those living in flats have truly despised them for it.
While this is a cliché in itself, you’ve truly conformed to the masses if you’ve planted a sunflower, attempted to grow your own chilli peppers or have taken a power washer to the pavement.
9. You’ve done a PE with Joe Wicks session
PE with Joe is meant to be for kids, so why is it that you’re reduced to a wheezing, red-faced mess after doing just one of his daily workouts?
Still, that sweaty post-workout photo makes some great content for the ‘gram. If you’re dragging yourself out of bed before 9am, then there needs to be something in it for you.
10. You’ve boasted about how great you are at social distancing on social media
Whether it’s staying at two metres distance on your daily walk in the sunshine or the new type of Friday night you’re spending with your friends, you’ve made sure to let everyone know how fantastic you are at abiding by the lockdown rules.
Of course, you wouldn’t dare mention that time you stayed outside for an extra ten minutes than is allowed, or that you went to the supermarket for some non-essential deckchairs. As far Instagram is concerned, you’re a lockdown paragon. Pass the quarantini, we think we’ve pretty much nailed this new way of life…
Image: Getty Images/iStockphoto
