The nine emotional stages of pulling a sickie

You might just fancy an extra day at home to sleep, put a wash on, or catch up on your Netflix viewing, but for some, pulling a sickie is less about opting for a a duvet day, and more about considering their job “too painful” to go in.

According to IT company Insight – who based their findings on a Kantar survey of 1,250 working adults – 8.6 million people rang in sick in 2019, blaming problems around work culture, workloads and their colleagues, for doing so. Arguably, this could be less of a sickie-pulling issue, and more a situation where the right steps aren’t being taken to support people’s mental health and wellbeing.

But if you have ever made that call to your boss because you just didn’t feel like going in – and apparently more of us feel like that today than any other day of the year – you should be able to relate to these stages of pulling a sickie…

1. Hesitant

To be fair, pulling a sickie had already crossed your mind before bed last night, but as you knock your alarm off the bedside table at 7am, the idea of actually getting up, dressed and out the door becomes something you need to put off for as long as humanly possible.

2. Dithery

You’ve delayed to the point where you’re either going to be horribly late for work, or you’re going to need to find the courage to call in sick. You can’t decide and are just lolling about in bed, hoping someone tells you what to do. You wish your mum would just materialise and say, ‘Well you do look a bit peaky… maybe a day off would do you good.’

3. Resolved

You realise you’re a grown-up. And no employee is indispensable – is anyone really going to miss you for one measly day? Also, you’re pretty sure you haven’t got any deadlines or meetings today, and your boss is always leaving early anyway. If anything, you deserve a day off. You normally work so hard! And you’ll be back in tomorrow refreshed. Really, they should be calling you to tell you not to bother coming in!

4. Over-confident

Time to channel those school drama skills you know you’ve stashed somewhere. And it’s not like you’re totally faking it – you do feel a little under the weather, your throat is a little croaky. Of course, that croak becomes Oscar-worthy once your boss answers the phone. You keep it short, sweet and end the call with a heartfelt apology. You’re a total pro.

5. Hyped up

Oh the relief! A whole day of telly and sofa time stretches out ahead of you. There will be films, toast, tea, pyjamas – and pride, because how convincing was your sick call?!

6. Weirdly deflated

Two films and eight cups of tea later, you feel a bit low. You forgot it’s not like the weekend. Everyone else did actually go into work today, and you can’t even pop to town in case someone from the office spots you. It’s like bunking off school on your own – really not that fun.

7. Slightly anxious

You wake up from a nap in a total flap. What if your boss guessed you were pulling a sickie? What if everyone at work’s been gossiping about you all day? What if the company handed out promotions and payrises today of all days, and they missed you out?

8. Happy

Come 5 o’clock you can properly relax. The working day is over, you can finally leave the house without feeling like a fugitive, and you’re looking forward to using your voice again when your partner/housemates get back. You eat dinner, rejoin the real world and feel pretty blissed out…

9. Sunday night blues

… until, that is, you start getting ready for bed and realise you have to go back into work tomorrow. Is your tickly cough turning into full-blown flu after all? Quite possibly…

Picture: Getty Images/iStockphoto