Christmas thank yous: Is just a text acceptable?

If you spent a long time choosing a Christmas gift, or a lot of money on it, expecting a thank you from the recipient isn't unreasonable, surely?

As digital communication is taking over, the way many people speak to each other, your thank you – if you get it – is likely to be via text message rather than a handwritten note written on a flowery card.

But is a thank you text acceptable?

Certainly, a 2016 survey found three-quarters of respondents said they no longer expected a traditional letter or card for giving gifts at Christmas, birthdays and other special occasions. Half of the 1,300 people questioned by gift website The Present Finder said they'd be happy with a digital thank you, either in the form of an email, text or Facebook post, while a quarter said they were happy with a phone call.

But just because people expect a text or are happy to receive a digital Christmas thank you, doesn't mean it's the correct thing to do.

Really, it's all about manners, and how much effort you or your children are prepared to put in to thank someone. Sean Davoren, head butler at The Savoy Hotel in London, and the author of Manners From Heaven, says:  "A thank you text is better than nothing, and we do have to move with the times, but nothing beats a handwritten and personalised letter. A text doesn't show much thought or consideration.

"We should be encouraging our children to hand write little thank you cards or letters. In this day and age, it's even more important as it shows their interest and that they've taken the time.

"In my opinion, a thank-you note is the thing to do by adults too. It shows you've taken the time and you appreciate the gesture made by the other person towards you."

Davoren says he thinks it's strange that the only time people seem to write thank you letters now is following weddings."That hasn't lost the sense of tradition, so I'm not sure why other celebrations have," he says.

Overall, he says manners are back in vogue, possibly because image is so important today, particularly to the younger generation. "People are certainly judgemental of people without manners these days. Manners contribute to the lasting impression we give to people – would you want to do business with a bad-mannered person?"

Not surprisingly, a handwritten letter rather than a thank you text is also favoured by British etiquette experts, Debrett's. It says: "As a general rule, a thank you letter should always be handwritten and sent within a week to 10 days of an event or receipt of a present.

"Remember that in our digital age, a handwritten letter is always appreciated so, for maximum impact, make the effort to write promptly. Refer to the present directly and include some details to personalise the tone of the letter."

Debrett's says that traditionally, children should always write a thank you letter for presents, but it's becoming "more permissible" for them to say thank you in person if the giver is there when the present's opened.